I have Hello magazine coming to the manor for a photo shoot?

What can I do to make the scene look as contrived as possible? I've already ordered unfeasibly large flower arrangements, and I'm thinking of wearing a ballgown whilst making a cup of tea. Any other tips to make my lifestyle look false and ideal?

I have Hello magazine coming to the manor for a photo shoot?
Well you could as Lavinia and I did.... Sneak into Buck House, while the owners were away..... Nobody noticed and we had a superb spread in Loaded..... Though I was surprised at the nature of the magazine, I assumed it was to do with wealth, not what we discovered..... Still Lavinia enjoyed the centrespread of herself....... Though why she had to be undressed beat me
Reply:Lady P, I will send my man Bagthorpe (87) over with the young stable boy Smith, I recently flogged him for not polishing the underside of my riding boots.


He is still dishevelled and pale, if you show him whimpering in the back ground it will show to all how caring you are as to let the servant’s shelter within ones abode.


After the photo shoot you can flog him for good measure.
Reply:You should remove the Bentley and have your horse and carriage on the driveway, make sure a scruffy looking lad is cleaning the chimney and he must keep shouting 'Thanking you kindly maaaam.' Also carry a little bell with you to summon the help, wear a tiara, look at everyone through an eyepiece, throw bundles of cash in the fire place and call the queen during your shoot. Happy days.
Reply:Shove a pony in the garden( be kind to it though)





Don`t make the tea yourself get a mate to be your maid for the day





Talk propa like wot a do





Don`t wear your slippers and remember to take your curlers out of your hair





Spray loads of furniture polish about





Last but not least SMILE
Reply:Have a photo with your man with you both grinning like the happiest couple on earth even though he's had an affair with your nanny and you're desperately unhappy due to your ongoing battle with an eating disorder / constant harassment from the paps / lack of sleep / failed solo career.
Reply:Oh super spiffing be carful, you know the curse of Hello Magazine dont you.


You could borrow some jewels from tifanys %26amp; tiara, %26amp; butler I think paul Burrows would be interesting as he has had lots to say.