Is this a good sympathy gift for my friend? Her mother just died?

My friend's mother just died...we have been working together a few years and she is basically like a mother to me. Me and my girlfriend are friends with her family but we never knew her mother. I was going to get them a Vermont Teddy Bear with a card saying "We are sorry for the loss of your loved one, keep this in her memory" Does that seem a bit over the top or no? For some reason it seems like a strange sympathy gift to me...but I didn't want to go with a generic fruit basket or flower arrangement...I wanted it to be something they could keep and remember. For me it just almost seems droll to give someone a gift that is like 'here is something to remind you that someone died'


Am I thinking too deeply about this? Any thoughts?

Is this a good sympathy gift for my friend? Her mother just died?
What matters is the note you write, on a card or letter, and the comfort you offer this person. I think you could even write "You have been like a mother to me" in your note and it would mean a lot. There should be no such thing as a sympathy gift-I agree it is just a reminder.





People gave my husband teddy bears when he had cancer and we were dumbfounded, although we appreciated the thought. Teddy bears for a 40 year old man? Reminders of his illness? No thanks!
Reply:You do not give gifts when people pass away. Often times, family will bring over some meals so the grieving does not need to worry about cooking. As for a friend, a simple card expressing your sympathy and prayers is enough.
Reply:I recently lost a close friend, and although gifts were thoughtful and appreciated, the thing that kept me going was the people that offered their support and prayers.
Reply:I don't think it is too over the top, but I think it is a bit odd to give a teddy bear or any gift for sympathy. I think many prefer people to give to a charity...is there something the mom or the family supports?.....How did she die? If it was due to an illness there may be charities that do research in that field and THAT would be the most appropriate charitable donation to make. If there are young children, maybe you could start a college fund for them. What is MOST important during this time and in the near future is to let the family know that you will be there for them and mean it. They may be getting bombarded with visitors and gifts right now, but maybe it would be nice in a couple weeks to bring them a home made meal. Actions go a lot further than any gift, so just pay attention to what your friend needs or wants and be there.
Reply:great idea maybe get a PLANT not flowers as well!
Reply:You could get a donation to a charity in her mother's name. I know when my Grandad died we got certificates of donations given to the Irish Cancer foundation and that meant a lot to my nana.
Reply:I think its the thought that counts here, Another idea would be making a donation in this person's name to a charity. Sorry for your loss.
Reply:that is a lovely thought go for it and bless you for being so thoughtful
Reply:What I would do is purchase a very special "Hallmark" condolence card, together with flowers, a plant, or a real nice box of chocolates. Even a home made cake, your girlfriend can bake.





Hallmark has so many cards, you will really be able to find one that exactly conveys your feelings. As a personal touch I would call your friend and ask her if you, and your girlfriend may come and make a condolence visit. Bring the flowers, and card with you.





When people are in mourning they need other people around to talk their feelings out. She will most probably enjoy talking about the good times, and wonderful memories she has of her mother. However, I would wait for 4 to 5 days before you do it.
Reply:Why a gift. Your support and sympathy for their situation should be more than enough.





A teddy bear? There is something that will end up in a garage sale or stuffed in an attic somewhere. Just be there for them. It says more than anything.
Reply:I'm not so sure about that...what about just offering your support %26amp; letting them know you'll be glad to do anything for them that they may need during this time...such as cooking a meal for them, running any errands, etc. If she keeps mementos they will probably be personal ones that she already has or that her mother owned...a nice card would suffice...since you didn't know her mother I wouldn't get anything too personal
Reply:I think it's a great idea. i have to agree with the boring fruits and flowers. i hope she likes the gift!
Reply:As some have already stated the idea is great but the teddy bear is a little strange and defintily something that will end up in yard sale down the road.





However, if you check someplace such as:


www.collectionsetc.com





You will find some really nice sympathy gifts such as angels with a special message and some garden stones. Personally I would rather have something like that then a teddy bear.