I am not getting married until June 2008, and I am already ready to pull my hair out from all the stress!! I am having a family friend make the cake, invitations, and flower arrangements...and Im getting married at my grandmothers house, so no venue charge or need for a limo. But I still cannot seem to get my budget under $20,000...this is insane. My fiance has already vetoed eloping or destination wedding.
How did you, or are you, dealing with the stress of the dreaded wedding budget!?
Does wedding budgeting make anyone else want to pull their hair out?
Email me if you want to talk
crack_fashion@yahoo.com
I am having the same deal.... ours is $20,000 and we keep cutting stuff out and down but it's not putting a dent into it. I still owe the cater like $10,000 and our wedding is Nov 3....
It's soo hard and we are cutting back on everything to pay for this.... Depending on where you live and if you have to use a cater it's really hard!!! I am ready to elope too :)
I am hoping to get some federal taxes back to pay the cater but I feel like I am always robbing peter to pay paul!!!
Reply:My last wedding was $200 and we had the best time! It's not worth $20,000. I would be asking myself huge questions about that sum of money. Chances are you won't be married in 10 years! You could take that money and do something nice, like a down payment on a house! You're not the first to stress over the money. That's why so many do elope.
Reply:yea bc u want so much but u cant get it all but 20000 is pretty good budget
Reply:Okay, I think you can find cheaper:
Rings...does he want just a plain band? Go to Kohl's or a chain store like Belden/Kay. My fiance's band was going to be $300 at the store where we got my rings, he got it for $40 at Kay Jeweler's at the mall. His brother did the same thing, and 3 years later, still has the same ring.
Ceremony....$1000?!?! Maybe this is normal in your area, but for me (Just north of Boston, MA) my wedding in a huge cathedral-like church is only $285 for EVERYTHING...priest, facility, planner (which they mandate). Can you find another place?
Wedding dress...Do you really need to spend that much? Look at other places, usually dress shops carry the same styles. My future in-laws friend paid over $1,500 for a dress that a cousin bought for $500 with alterations!
Other stuff~Can you get a crafty friend to do the decorations for you? Or do them yourself. It would be much cheaper to buy the supplies at a craft store (or even a dollar store...don't knock it!) and do them up yourself. And, it can still look classy and nice if you do it right.
Wow, I'm surprised. I'm having a large church/reception wedding for 200-250 people for about $25,000 and I thought that was ridiculous!
Reply:No, it's all in what you think is important. Your rings cost too much, so is your photographer and videographer. Too much to pay for a gown, and if you guys are tight on money, skip the darned honeymoon! No need for you to complain, thought you were "scrimping" or something....
Reply:My wife and I got married in Las Vegas. Visit the different wedding chapels. They have packages priced from $45.00 up to $20,000 depending on how extravagant you want to be. You can also do it anytime, for example, you could get married at midnight.
I realize that your fiancee vetoed eloping or a destination wedding but let him know that you are having trouble getting the budget below $20,000 and that it is stressing you out.
I think the total cost of our wedding was about $100.00 and we had a great time in Las Vegas with no stress involved.
You might want to arrive at a compromise with your fiancee. Suggest going to get married in Las Vegas just to make the union legal so that you can do things like get on one spouse's health plan, etc. Then the two of you, together, can plan a renewal of your vows where you can invite people, rent limos, and host a reception. This will give you guys time to shop around for the best deals and save some money to build up a bigger budget.
Reply:planning a wedding CAN be stressful. I myself am planning a wedding at this time and let me tell you, I've literally screamed into a pillow because of how stressed out I get. No matter what, it's going to be stressful but you can control your emotions. Just go to this page:
http://www.blissweddings.com/wedding_pla...
It will let you download a free mini-planner. It's great, it gives you just about any info you need for your wedding. Check it out.
Other ways you can keep your budget low is by making the invitations yourself, Go to Michaels or a craft store and they'll have kits for invitation. You can get a set of 50 invitations, 50 envelopes, 50 respond cards and 50 respond envelopes for like $30. I have my family helping me out with keepsakes and the cake and decorations and stuff like. Trust me, all this really helps, so far my fiance and I are looking to spend between $3k and $5k. Good luck!
Reply:Well, I have been fortunate enough to only be spending $5500 on ours. I agree that weddings can and will last a lifetime if you nurture them :) I've been with my husband for nearly 10 years, it hasn't been easy, but we are more in love than ever before.
Anyways, back to your question...I'm not sure what you are spending $20,000 on since you already have some big things covered for free or cheaper rates. HOWEVER....I will tell you that craigslist, ebay and freecycle have saved me A LOT!!!!
Hope this helps, congrats and good luck on throwing the wedding of your dreams at a fraction of the cost ;)
Reply:Well what exactly are you doing that's costing so much money! $20,000? You have no cake to buy, no invitations, no flowers and no venue rental and no limo. Exactly WHAT is your problem? I'm having all those things and my wedding budget is $6000 and I'm not having any issues and my wedding is only 6 months away. How many people have you invited? How much is the food? Seriously, I can't see why you have so many expenses...you need to re-budget.
Reply:This is why back in the day, the bride's parents were supposed to plan and pay for the wedding. They have more experience budgeting and planning things of this nature. Since your fiance is so keen on dumping so much responsibility on you (saying absolutely NOT for elope or destination wedding) can you imagine how much work he will feel entitled to dump on you after you're married? Think about it.
Reply:I just have to say " Take a deep breath", planning your wedding can be well, STRESSFUL at time, just know when to walk away and take a deep breath
Reply:Aww, honey, take a deep breath and relax. Since you've already mentioned eloping %26amp; dest. wedding, obviously the #1 most important thing to you is to have a husband by the end of that day, and rest assured that will happen! That's a great start, now it's a matter of prioritizing the rest of it.
First, take a good look at your guestlist. Are you inviting everyone you've ever met, or only the people that really matter to you? www.theknot.com has a great budget calculator. Start by putting in the 20,000 and the amount of guests and it will set appox. how much each facet of your wedding should cost. Then fill in zeros for all the items you won't be paying for and it will redistribute the money to the remaining items. Then it's a matter of deciding what is most important to you.
Are you a foodie... Is it a gourmet menu or nothing as far as you're concerned? Or do you not care if they're eating hot dogs as long as you're wearing the latest to die for couture dress? Maybe entertainment is number one on your list, after all it is a celebration, you want everyone to remember what a good time they had for a long time to come. Make a list by order of importance for what you have to pay for, ex:
1. rings
2. food
3. entertainment
4. dress
5. decor
6. stationery
7. photographer
Once you know what is and isn't important to you (and your fiance), you can, using the above example, take a little money out of you photography budget, maybe hire a student from a local art school, to go towards the diamond bands you've been dreaming of.
Keep shopping around for the best prices, you'll get it together eventually. Knowing what you're willing to skimp on will help. Just try to stick to that 20k budget, as wonderful of a day as it might be, the perfect wedding is no reason to start a marriage in debt. And don't listen to the nay-sayers saying you're spending too much... you can't put a price on your dreams.
Reply:I had a gorgeous wedding, and it did not cost me more than $8,000 and that's being generous. I wish I could help you and trust me you would have your same exact wedding with less than half that budget. Dont blow so much money on your wedding. You cant buy memories, but the headaches will always be there when money is involved.
Reply:You can't get your wedding budget under $20K?!?!!! You're kidding. My wife and I did the whole nine -- limo, church, reception hall (catered), cake, DJ who had multimedia capability to play videos and put up pictures, invitations, bridal gown, tuxedos, flowers, photographer, etc. -- all for under $13K. Either somebody is overcharging you major bigtime for something or your tastes are way too expensive. Here's a general idea of what we paid:
LIMOUSINE: $450.00 for three hours
DJ: $800.00 for the night
INVITATIONS: $300.00
FLOWERS: $750.00
BRIDAL GOWN: $600.00 at a bridal gown warehouse
TUXEDOS: $650.00 total for everyone
PHOTOGRAPHER: $2,000.00
CHURCH: $250.00
RECEPTION HALL: $35 per person; which included the wedding cake, the meal, linens, wait staff, and a bartender for 5 hours.
Makes me wonder how your wedding could be so pricey...
Reply:I think no matter how much your budget is, the planning is always going to be stressful. Our budget is $5,000 and we are paying for it, no help. I've had an issue with the flowers being too pricey and It's driving me crazy, I keep mentioning eloping to my fiancee but he keeps changing the subject....
Reply:Wow...I envy the fact that everyone here is able to keep their wedding cheap...unfortunately for those of us who live in southern california, it's way more expensive than that....try 50,000.....(this is an average number) and I have been cutting corners wherever possible and that budget keeps on rising. Am I stressed..yes. Good Luck!
Reply:The first thing to consider is what is REALLY most important to you for your day. Make a list and prioritize. Then pick one item at a time to research and get your bridal party to help you.
We chose to go easy on the reception location because it was much more important that our friends and family be there.
Then we decided we did not have to have a big dinner - we had the reception at 7pm and had hor'deurves and cocktails this also allowed for a longer open bar.
I was very lucky to find a photographer for $600, he took almost 1000 pics, I had him from getting ready to the near end of the ceremony. He was awesome, for a guy who worked by himself he caught moments that we were not even aware of (i.e. my sister-in-law %26amp; best friend %26amp; there hubbys crying while we danced our first dance). We got a proof of every pic and all the negatives. This allowed us to make enlargements at our discretion and in our timeframe.
A friend volunteered to do the music in the church.
We had the rehearsal dinner at our home, a friend stayed there to prepare everything while we were rehearsing.
It is nice your friend is willing to help with so much, who else might be willing to contribute?
Reply:Budget I think is the biggest stress. We are having everything done professionally and are managing to keep it under $7K. You just need to do your homework. The more you understand the cost of things and can compromise (i.e. stay away from expensive food dishes and exotic flowers) the better off you'll be. I wanted Cymbidium orchids and filet mignon...to cut costs and make it affordable I am going with Green Hydrangeas and Prime Rib. difference in price on those two things alone-$12K, there is half your budget given back.
Reply:Of course budgeting makes me pull my hair out!
So far we've kept everything under 5k, I think.
I do stress...we have less than 6 weeks to go, but I try not to let too much get to me. It's pointless to freak out over it. This is your wedding. Just remember that. Don't let other people, like angry future father in laws, try to take over.
Reply:I'm sorry but I do not understand how you have all that cut out and can't keep it under 20,000. I am getting married in June.
SUV Limo - 650
Dress- 399
invitations - 300
photographer - 1600
reception - 5,000 -Venus DeMilo in MA
DJ - 400
Flowers-Roses and Astromeria- 450
cake - 350
That is the bulk of it and its under 10,000
DOG
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