Today it has been 1 year that my wife's father died, I sent flowers to the house. Is this wrong? She was mad

I am at work all day today and I know that it is a difficult day for my wife, so I sent her a beautiful spring flower arrangement with a card "I am thinking of you today. I hope this makes your day a little easier. Love M." She called me and yelled at me how this was abuse and insensitive. I thought I was doing a nice thing. Am I wrong? Did I do wrong?

Today it has been 1 year that my wife's father died, I sent flowers to the house. Is this wrong? She was mad
Another guy who thinks showing sensitivity is the right thing to do.....no no no, you have to act oblivious.
Reply:I think she is the abusive insensitive one! You did exactly what a good husband would do, be there for his wife during a hard time! You are not wrong and should not put up w/ that!
Reply:You didnt really do anything wrong...its just people grieve in different ways....she may have just wanted to not think about it at all...and the flowers almost forced her to...or maybe she was trying to pick a fight with you to keep her mind focused on something else....Just go home and apologize....and shell give you hints as to how she wants to be treated (left alone,like any other day,or loved and cuddled all night)





Good luck !
Reply:wow that sounds really sweet I dont know why she would get mad you were just trying to cheer her up on a hard day I dont know what her problem is
Reply:no--u did a nice thing--ur wife's a bi**tch
Reply:Let it blow over. It wasn't wrong, she's just hurting.
Reply:Don't worry, that was a very nice thing to do. I'm sure she was just upset and was taking out her anger at you. Talk to her tomorrow and I'm sure you can work it out...
Reply:Maybe you should have waited and asked her "would you like to get flowers for your Fathers grave and put them on?"





She may have seen your approach as kind.
Reply:You did nothing wrong she will calm down and relize that...She was probably thinking that you should of shown it in a different way....My father died many years ago right near my b-day and it took everyone including him a couple of years to remember my actuall bday and not the day he died to say happy birthday... I got over it...She will to..Best thing you can do is to comfort her and make her day as easy as possible....And tell her how much you love her!!
Reply:NO! you did nothing wrong! You were very sweet! So thoughtful! She should be ashamed of herslf! Pat yourself on the back for me and say, "Well done!" You are a reall sweetheart and she is a beotch to yell at such thoughtfulness!
Reply:You the right thing, you showed you cared and thinking about her, good on u!! Just go home and tell her you thought it would help. She was probably having a hard time with it and took her emotions out on you as you were the easiest to yell at. I definitely don't think you were in the wrong, just an easy target on a really hard day for her.
Reply:I have no idea why that would upset her so. I don't think you did anything wrong, I think it was a caring and sweet gesture.
Reply:It depends....could you have taken the day off to be with her or let her grieve? Your flowers were not wrong they may not have been enough. It could also be the case that she thought you were trying to take her attention away from her grief to think of you. There is probably nothing you could have done right today. Don't feel bad.
Reply:she;s probably just hypersensitive and all over the place emotionally. it sounds like a thoughtful thing to me maybe she was trying to pretend that his death really didn't happen and it was a reminder.





it sounds like a nice thing to me.
Reply:you were very sweet but your wife is still going though





next year sent Flowers either before or after the fact to cheer her up
Reply:that was really sweet...


maybe since it was such a difficult day for her that she didnt understand how sweet it was, or she was grouchy, it could also be she thought you sent them for another reason %26amp; was mad because she thought something else, but i doubt it was the last one


i guess i dont know what to tell you because she shouldve been thankful..
Reply:I think you did a very nice thing.


Please don't let her emotions get to you she is in a bad place right now, and I'm sorry to say for the next few years she will probably react the same way.





She is still in the grieving process, and you were at the receiving end of that.


but in the end she will appreciate your thought fullness


Good Luck
Reply:I don't think you were wrong in sending the flowers, but I think your card was taken out of context by your wife. Had you said something along the lines, "I know today is a tough day for you. But, I just want to tell you that I am thinking about you and your family."





I think bringing to light what the day symbolized to your wife would have been a little better and taken as caring. Don't be mad though, you did good just think about what you say next time.
Reply:People handle loss of a parent differently. You're not a mind reader, you're doing what you feel is right. It could have gone either way, you don't know what kind of day she's having. Eventually, she'll get back to you and let you know that she overreacted.





Just be there for your wife and give a shoulder to cry on, or be the distraction to the pain, take her out and do something fun....it's all a matter how she wants to handle it (asking her helps - assuming your communication is strong).
Reply:you didn't do anything wrong. i have learned that with my wife,if she is hurting, she takes it out on me. i don't mind being her punching bag at times if it makes her feel better.
Reply:Your wife is an idiot..no offense.
Reply:you didn't do anything wrong..My father also died this month...been 18 years and I still hurt and cry....I wish someone would send me flowers and tell them they were thinking of me...is your wife always like this? poor guy. Kuddos for sticking with it!
Reply:No, it was a GREAT thing to do. Maybe she is just having a hard time dealing with it today and she took it out on you.
Reply:you are doing your best - and she seems to be taking her depression out on you - which is not fair to you. i would appreciate it very much if any guy i had a relationship did something like this, but it never happened.
Reply:You are a sweety. My mom died over thirty years ago when I was a only 9 and my husband can't understand why the anniversary of her death is so hard on me. You did the right thing.
Reply:Her grief might be keeping her from seeing the kindness of your actions.
Reply:no sweetie, you were not wrong in doing this. In fact it was perfect. Your wife will see later how bad she reacted to your love and thoughtfulness. I think for her she may still be angry about her fathers passing. We do tend to take out our emotions on the ones we love the most. I think that is all she is doing. I know there are steps to healing, I don't know what all of them are or what order there in but I do know that anger is one of them and its one of the first steps you go through in mourning.


As hard as it may be, you have to just be patient with her. It sounds very much like you love her and even though its going to be hard on you to, just stand beside her, let her scream, yell, cry and go outside and hit a tree if she wants, just know that this is a step in healing, it will get better.


As for the flowers, in a few days, if not sooner, she will realize what she did. She knows you only sent them with the best thoughts at heart!





Good luck
Reply:I do not think that you did wrong. She did. She owes you an apology for attacking you for trying to make her feel better.
Reply:I don't think you did anything wrong, but maybe you should give her some time then ask her why she's upset. Maybe she's just feeling emotional.
Reply:OH MY GOD!


NO it was not wrong...it was sweet, kind and considerate!


Your wife does not realize what a wonderful husband she has and that is so very sad.


Take it from a woman who wishes she had such a thoughtful man.


And sorry to say but your wife has serious problems if she thought it was abusive or insensitive in any way!.


Good luck! sounds like you will need it with her!

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