Sunday, November 15, 2009

Will this poem make your soul flower?

Soul Flower


Written By Semper Fi 83 8/25/07





I did a double take,


When I saw her bouquet.


For I had never seen such an arrangement of flowers.





Yet there she stood,


In all her grace.


A light flashed,


Across her face,


That was her smile.


She had a joyous sound to her laugh,


And her dress swayed just above her calves,


In the moonlight.





She was like a desert rose,


Blooming through a crack in the asphalt.


Who is responsible for this beauty?


I thought I heard a man say, "It's my fault!"


Yes indeed, yes indeed!





I tried to tame the flavor of chocolate!


My tastebuds threatened a strike.


For no man can be a constant gardener.


No man can claim her power!


She's so unexpressably lovely!





She's a Soul Flower.


Her petals never fall to the ground.

Will this poem make your soul flower?
Okay, first off, I got the reference to chocolate being her skin--some people are just clueless with imagery. However, I do think the image is a bit misplaced, beautiful as it is. The rest of the poem talks about flowers, bouquets, petals, and this reference to a flavor and tastebuds just seems out of place.





But overall, I loved the poem! The images are lovely, and you really get a sense that this is one unique woman who really captured your attention.
Reply:I think it is a great poem.
Reply:Beautiful, but a bit confusing when you threw in the chocolate. I might remove that section and use it to develop another poem. Unless you say I tried to tame her, the flavor of Chocolate...??? still a bit awkward. Love the rest of it.
Reply:I know what you mean by Chocolate.....it's my favorite flava...beautiful.
Reply:This is sensational, wow!!!!. I love the last stanza, brilliant.
Reply:Oooh! that's very creative indeed. I like it so much.
Reply:you must really love your wife my friend. may you both have many more years of happiness. she makes you write beautiful things and she is so lucky to have some one who writes such beautiful things about her.


GOD BLESS YOUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER!!!


It's not very often that you find such a love in this cruel, cruel world of ours.
Reply:that's nice. i like it. hope the lady you wrote it for likes it too.
Reply:No, its just a bunch of words thrown together to sound profound and meaningful, but it falls way short.
Reply:I agree with imagesawy, someone thats not really into poetry would write something meaningless like that.
Reply:Sorry but it's stupid.

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